Sunday, 24 March 2013

I hope that am starting to love my life without you, darling.


Hi Sergeant Tan, I bless you for your achievement, and still love you more than how I used to. Not because of your current status and identity, but for who you were and who you are now.

Thing goes right this way..

I have been a workaholic in the past two weeks time right after the IT show. Drinking and fooling around, or worse, day dreaming on my bed, has been my past time entertainment.

My first entertainment of the month was going out with my Brother's Family. Dajie, JieXiang, Mayer, Jordan, and not to forget my new friends Laoda, ZhaoKiat and Shernice! My only regret was not taking photo with them. I should have done so, but never mind, there is still a long way to go, hopefully. ")

It was a luxurious Thursday, or I should say, it was definitely a satisfying Thursday. 

I went for Ice Skating, with Thoung and two of my besties classmates - Bern and Sahvi. 
 
We skated for two hours, and within the hours I fell down for a three times. How embarrassing it was. Imagine me. I was hoping and was thinking, how good and awesome everything could be, if you're the one beside me, to teach me on how to skate, or just stay by my side. No doubt that it will be an extremely wonderful afternoon.  

Oh dear, I really miss you.

The gloves for the four of us from Daiso! The leopard printed one is mine!
Me together with Thoung, like finally an outing with her after months.





^The random four of us. Thanks girl and I love each and everyone of you!

After the skating moments, the four of us went to the NEX shopping complex, and had our dinner at the Hot Tomato restaurant. Here it is, the Lamb Chop & Bratwurst! Am not trying to say that this is bla bla bla an awesome and superlicious dinner or what, but most importantly it was really a great night out with the girls. 

^Lamb Chop & Bratwurst @ Hot Tomato, NEX that I have ordered for the night!

The schedule of the day did not end just like that. I met up with Daniel first at Dhoby Ghaut and we went Clarke Quay together. He brought me along and show me how merry the night could be in CQ, and I was amazed. I saw exactly how Sisha looks like too. Daniel later on directed me to Aqua Nova, and we sat down and had some drinks together while waiting for the rest. He ordered me a HoeGarden. It was a nice beer but I could neither drink a lot or fast, therefore, before I could finish even one-third of it, Daniel left with only one-fifth and we then exchanged the drinks. We had chats regarding our own relationships, about my future studies, and gave advice to each other on how could we improve our life. He could be the best listening ears and the reading eyes whenever I need one. This is the reason why I appreciate every friendships that comes to me. 

Soon after the drinks, we went to the Burger King at the Central because Daniel was hungry! We continue our chats, and soon later JieXiang arrived. He was hungry too haha so poor thing! Followed by Thoung after her gathering with her classmates, so as Silvia, Daniel's buddy!While ChunHong arrived soon later when we were about to leave the restaurant. 

Uhm, we headed to the Planet Paradise at the Liang Court. They needed to check our identity card, therefore, I was in rush and panic for a little because I did not bring my Student pass along but luckily I got my NRIC with me. I was like - Aww can't be blamed, I shall remember to bring my pass along next time to avoid any misunderstanding of my age, hell ya!

Dajie, Sihui, Mayer and Jordan soon arrived. Daniel ordered the Courvoisier V.S.O.P Cognac and a tower of beer. The game started! *Scissors-Paper-Stone* and after a few round, I started to feel dizzy and I went to the washroom. I thought everything was alright and I should be fine, but later on, thing goes wrong when I realized myself on my own bed the next morning. I was finally drunk for the first time. 

I glanced thru the conversation in the group chats, and realized that big thing goes wrong. I acted accordingly after I got drunk. Almost every of them described to me what have I done to them. I burst out laughing after listening and reading what have I actually done. Anyway, I feel a lot better actually after the hangovers.

Daniel told me these in the chat. 

"Thing goes like that. I was seated next to you after Seow Hung left. Then suddenly you started crying. So I pulled you out of the place to let you cool down. But you cried even more. So I brought you to the bridge, cos there prettier and I thought it would brighten up your mood abit. But I was wrong. You cried even more and said a lot of things about your regrets. Then we stood there for super long and you can't stop crying. Told me hell lot of stuff and then Si Hui and Mayer came. But I told them to wait at aside cos didn't want them to see you cry and all. Then more talking and more crying. So I said, stop crying, the rest are waiting. After that I went for a smoke with Sihui, JX dajie's brother and Mayer and we went in to take our belongings and left. 

They didn't want to go home. So went mac for breakfast. Along the way you can't even walk straight and Chun Hong was holding on to you. But I was like you are very uncomfortable but that Chun Hong just kept holding cos he scare you fall down. So ya loh. 


At mac, you just kept staring at the phone and you shared about the cake, the bday party." 

I feel so sorry for what I have done after the drink and caused the troubles for them to take care of me. However, I feel glad to have them in my life. I mean it. I thank them for asking me to sing out loud during the karaoke session at the KTV last week and not to keep things in me, and keep me company when I needed them. Life with them actually cures me better as compared to the solitaire me. 

I love each and every of them. ")

Hell ya, and on the 6th April, it's gonna be Siaoyen's wedding day and was asked to be the bridesmaid. Oh dear, I hell don't think I can be one, as I don't even have the time to prepare the proper attire and everything needed. Perhaps I shall just be with the Sisters. Not to forget the attire for the wedding night? 

Urhhhhh as well to dig out any party dress for next week. Ohmytian. Anyway, am blessed with programs next week. Monday the movie date with Huitong and one person more maybe, then the party invitation at the club for the first time with Daniel and the gang, also the KTV session again on the next night throughout the night. And Thursday daytime shall be another date with my girls at the Zoo! ") 

World, please keep my mind occupied with entertainments and I shall not remember you, darling. 

Tuesday, 19 March 2013

小三之说

我必须承认说,
不被爱的那个是永远的小三。

虽然这么说,
若我说,
当一个人知道一个女的还在努力时,
努力在挽回自己男人的心时,
知情的那个她,
不惜暗地里耍刀枪,
得到了他。

是,他爱她,
可她干了什么?

爱情饮料,
一个人喝时,涩涩的。
两个人喝时,甜甜的。
三个人喝时,酸酸的。

万物尽酸,都已一年多了。
可我就是放不下。

觉得好笑时,
是看见说,怎么你三年前的小说论,
让我觉得你好大姐大。

看了以后,我笑了。
一切也算了。

你的她说她说,
也许能直接一些吧,
只是觉得,你好像在尝试表达一些讯息给别人。

误导没关系,有人懂就好。

没事。
大你个三岁,总得比你会想,不然,我会比狐狸更狼。

Thursday, 14 March 2013

谢谢你给的那一小时幸福

多久没在睡梦中看见你了。

谢谢刚才,给了我美丽的梦中梦。
虽然才一小时,可谢谢你。

梦见我们在第一次见面的地方重遇,
你回来了。

你抚摸了我的头发,告诉我你回来了。
之前的种种,你告诉我说,
都过去了。
你向我说抱歉,
我亦急得哭了。

你说,不会再让我伤心难过。
我开心了。

可怎么,那只是一场梦。
梦里的结局,是我最终了结了自己。

美梦中,短暂的幸福,
我也许该知足。

Monday, 11 March 2013

我能说,分手一周年快乐吗?

就这样,分手一年了。

 现在凌晨一点十七分。

想着去年的今天,
我竟是在琢磨着如何向你开口,
一切与你的爱情,斩断与三月十一日。

工作的四天里,
尽情的要逃避一切可能的负面思想,
可就是,不行。

记得一个月前偷偷看了你上机,
到今早记得你快要回来,
明明就,多久不见了,其实不必想念了,
可就是,很痛。

在列车里正在回家路上的我,
想着,怎么一切忙碌就这么停止了。
我害怕,真的彷徨。

该怎么面对内心里的歇斯底里,
以及顾及在大众面前所以不能哭的闭憋。

真的憎恶自己。

爱你,真的爱。
可一切于事无补。
藏在心里,不能告诉你。
再也没有资格说爱你。

陈智鹏,会想到去年今天我带给你的伤痛吗? 
对不起,
对不起,
真的,对不起。

忘了我也不错,
谁让我只让你痛苦地爱着这么任性的我。

尽力了,
曾经你分手当天摆在我家门口的信,和巧克力,
我没有用,我找不回。
可我现在明白你当初的痛楚,我对不起你。

真的,如果说...

嗯,没有如果。
已经发生了。


我,爱你。
还爱。
真的。

Wednesday, 6 March 2013

还有那五天

就多那五天。

今天又再兴起想要部落。
不知是心情低落,抑或意识清晰,
告诉我说那日子近了。

心跳的节奏,让我快跟不上拍子。
熟不知自己在紧张些什么,
或者害怕着什么。

最近烦恼我的,
就是一个月前发生的事。

朋友叫我无论如何要这么做,
可我不忍,也不敢让你知道,
想在这里述明,也不能。
说着说着,就和朋友吵起来,很不好受。

万一真的,该怎么办。
万一假的,我能怎样。

心痛的感觉还存在,
能否说明,我真的还好在乎你。

你的无情阐明了你对我的绝情。
 
也许,我只是你的过渡期。
也许,你从来没爱过我。
也许,你未曾在乎。

我认命。
注定永远是痛苦的那一方。


Monday, 4 March 2013

AM NOT IN A GOOD MOOD ")

HEY BLOODY.

KNOWING THAT YOU HAVE PISSED ME OFF, FOR TWISTING WORDS I HAVE SPOKEN TO YOU. WHAT I COULD SAY WOULD BE, I WILL SYMPATHIZE YOU HELL DOWN IF YOU NEED THIS WAY TO SECURE HIM MORE AND MORE. FUNNERH. BLOODILY FUNNY. LIKE A ???. SORRY, WON'T NAME YOU IN ANYMORE POLITE WAY. 

PERHAPS I SHALL SAY, I SHALL ONE DAY POST EVERYTHING YOU SENT ME, TO SHOW TO THE WORLD HOW CONTRADICTING YOUR WORDS ARE. BLOODY. STILL BLOODILY IRRITATING. LET THE WORLD JUDGE. 

I REMEMBER I PROMISE MYSELF A SIX YEAR. I HECK CARE WHO HE BEING WITH NOW AND THEN. IT'S MY OWN PROMISE. DID I EVER INTERRUPT NOW? DAMN IT IRRITATING UH?

HEY SPENCER TAN. 

HECK TAKE CARE OF YOUR BLOODY GIRLFRIEND. YOUR PROBLEM IF YOU WANNA TRUST WHATEVER SHE SAY, AND WHATEVER SHE CLAIMED IS. IT IS BLOODY YOUR BUSINESS. I LOVE YOU, I DO, BUT DO NOT PISSED ME OFF. MIND WHAT TO BE SAID IN A BLOG, TELL THE TRUTH, NOT TO TRY TWISTING THE TRUTH. 

I SAY I LOVE YOU, IT WILL ALWAYS BE THERE, AND AM NOT ASKING YOU TO LOVE ME BACK. I KNOW IT WILL NEVER BE, SINCE ONE HAS CAME IN TO INTERRUPT MY EFFORTS.

AND TO THE BOTH OF YOU.

I NEVER DOUBT THAT YOU GUYS WILL BE LONG, BLOODILY LONG. AND I EVEN TOLD YOUR MUM, HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HER AND HOW CAN THAT GIRL MAKE YOU SMILE BLA BLA BLA, AND IT SEEMS TO BE A BLOODY HELP TO PERSUADE HER SO. 

DO NOT FORCE ME TO DO SOMETHING AGAINST MY WILL. I TRIED TO ACCEPT, SO PLEASE DO NOT BLOODILY THINK OF THIS AND THAT. WERE YOU BORED WITHOUT HIM AROUND AND THUS YOU WROTE THOSE FUNNY THINGS? NOT FUNNY. REALLY. I AM REALLY PISSED.