碎碎念

嗨，鵬。

走著回家時突然淚崩了
聽著歌曲也突然落淚了
就突然就  好想好想你

想了以後  還是得回到現實

我不喜歡人家提起你  也懂人家不喜歡我提起你
他們就會覺得  你煩不煩啊？

是啊  我很煩  異常的煩  煩得我偏頭痛又犯了
絞痛著的自己只能捶啊捶  要不然就輕輕撞下面牆
我會想乾脆掐死自己算了  真的很纏人

今晚不知所措地  我又壓抑不住地  想寫寫洩洩
原諒我的不知所謂
我真的很討厭一個人面對著電腦屏幕
也討厭電腦後面的那一面牆
牆對面的另一面牆
牆牆旁邊的窗
窗口對面的櫥櫃
還有等等等
其實  房裡的東西多姿多彩  好不齊全
可是就是面對它們接近一年後的我
不想成天對著它們
到底  有藥救嗎？

碎碎念  我越來越阿婆
沒了小同陪自己一年多了  悶時自己和自己說話而已
很悶很慌很煩很亂很伯徹
我需要pillow talk

Slowly, am letting go.

It’s been months. That same sad song has been on repeat for months now, becoming the only shoulder you want to lean on as tears fall. Memories of time shared together haunt the hours and fog your thoughts. There seems to be no escape from the heaviness of loss. No way around it, but straight through the ugly shadows of ache without any comfort in sight.

Happy April's Fool.

Heylo. It's been a while since I last blogged. How are you? Let's hope you're doing pretty well there, aye?

Today's April Fool. Including me, I wish, everything happened is just an advanced preparation for this day. I wish so much, that end of today, you will go home, and you will knock on your house door, tell your beloved family and her, that it's an April Fool, and you shall receive scolding from them for having such a joke to them, and you will continue living happily ever after again, and I, shall continue with my life. 

That's should be the ending isn't it..

Seeing how much people around you have missed you, I feel empty sometimes, not knowing what position do I have to continue missing you like that. 

But don't you worry, I have someone who treated me so well, and good to me. I have people who I can rely on. Time heals. Soon. 

Continue to do well, will you. (:

A phone call from you, the last phone call from the maybe-you, on the April's Fool. :')