The 100th day

Time flies.
How do you do..

乌龟

怎么了我，怎么怕成这么一个样。

第一次，我第一次临场退缩，不考试了。

我不懂怕什么，就是感觉没准备好。

我要颓废了是不是。

元宵前夕，那中西情人节

日子倘若过得快，未免不是件好事，

至少快快过快快活，很快就能和你们打个招呼了。

呵，这短暂的离别。

今天元宵前夕，没什么特别伤感，或许还没，但愿不会。

日子能好好过吗？苦的让我尝够了吗？甘甜能让我尝了吗？

不懂呢，如果还有，也只能静静地受。

伤离别，离别虽然在眼前，

说再见，再见不会太遥远。

重逢在天国，在茫茫人海中，会错过和你打招呼的机会吗？

焖烧锅

又活跃了，部落。

担心了，怎么办。
不是我杞人忧天，而是真的，
为什么一直有事情不断要阻挠我向前迈进。

爸妈终于将小表妹接回家了，
二姨，在天上看着她也能说是安心了，
栽培她成人的日子预了不会好过，
可爱她的那份心，真的每个人都有。

自家妹妹不懂事，可又能怎样，
嘴里劝的骂的都说了，只希望她能懂事些，
别再给爸妈添这些麻烦。
好好顾着小表妹不行吗，真的就谦让些而已啊，
虽然说不能纵着她怕会习惯一辈子，
说不能以怜悯她的方式教育她怕她活得不同，
可谁真的懂就算心里打底多爱她，也想弥补她失去的父爱母爱。

不敢离开阿嬷家，怕家里出了什么事我必懊悔一辈子，
可又想回家看看欣卉她还适应吗，顺便能说说那霸道的妹妹。
可我真的烦了烦，烦了又烦，我自答不出一个所以然。

我累，真的累。
出了朋友一直和我说话的时候，
其余时间，我是又闷又累又心寒。

自己很烦，可不懂在烦些什么。

我懊恼了。

Saddist

So my parents decided to take my Er Yi's 7yo daughter Sin Hui to our place for her primary school education. It would be rather a burden for my parents, for she's all my Er Yi and uncle left, their only daughter left for them. I don't know how the upcoming 6 years gonna be like, neither do the maybe-11-years. Everything is going to be an unknown, however, the only thing daddy and mummy are sure about, is to shape her in becoming a better human being. I feel so sorry to have to let them doing this on their own, I feel sorry for not able to see her growing up, but one thing I know, is that everyone is trying so hard to make 2014 a better life. 

I am at times worried, that how long more all these people am seeing and remembering in my eyes and soul will last. *touchwood* but I really want them to live forever. It is rather obvious that all these are impossible in the Kingdom of the Lord, but I really wish it could last. 

This is seen on Facebook, and I was in a deep thought and dilemma. 

Where life is after all a playground. 

Are we people really going back to His arm? Will we be seeing each other again one day later in a far away future? 

I have no sense of these, no more.

I am tired of people living and suffering from sickness and pain. It is nothing more but a torture. All these are tormenting me. Dear you, your death triggered all these. Are all these fated to be such? That for the rest of my life I will have to bear the pain to have lost you forever, to love you most the rest of my life. 

I have once thought, that how am I going to let you go, how our relationship going to end with this stubborn me to want loving you such. Who knows the Almighty would choose this way to end all these for us. If I would know, I would have promised to have grown more maturely to have myself with you throughout the last few years of your life. 

I do not wish to let you go. I never want to let you go. I really do miss you. I ain't strong like how people used to describe me. 

You are. You are the one boy who has the only detriment, that is to step on my heart. Every time. And you make me cry. Every time. 

The 84th day

I missed too many blog posts, two weeks posts? I missed the 77th posts way too far. Hey all of you, up there, Happy Lunar New Year. I missed too many things in life, I miss you. How's life? Perhaps I should say that I am getting used to this kind of life, where I have to keep worrying and worrying. Not a big deal though, as it is just part and parcel of life. People have been telling me that life is never a bed of roses, but what's happening now is, haha I can't see even a single rose.

How ridiculous is life treating the human beings now. 

我在向前走　卻像在退後

我在用想念　狂歡寂寞

越快樂就越失落　愛將我們高高舉起以後

再讓心　學會墜落

懷念著　寬闊的天空

雖然那裡　空氣很稀薄

我努力　想起你　笑著哭泣

讓自己　深愛你　再學會放棄

我不想忘記你　就算可以　我寧可記得所有傷心

我努力　想起你　哭也沒關係

用祝福　和感激　勇敢失去你

愛你這個決定　雖然艱辛　我不說對不起

If I were to continue every blogposts, it would rather be the same missing you lullabies. The similar feelings, the similar loving heart, and every similar words of missing you, perhaps the only difference is the way of uttering these out. 

I miss you. I really do. 

But where are you.