Saddist

So my parents decided to take my Er Yi's 7yo daughter Sin Hui to our place for her primary school education. It would be rather a burden for my parents, for she's all my Er Yi and uncle left, their only daughter left for them. I don't know how the upcoming 6 years gonna be like, neither do the maybe-11-years. Everything is going to be an unknown, however, the only thing daddy and mummy are sure about, is to shape her in becoming a better human being. I feel so sorry to have to let them doing this on their own, I feel sorry for not able to see her growing up, but one thing I know, is that everyone is trying so hard to make 2014 a better life. 

I am at times worried, that how long more all these people am seeing and remembering in my eyes and soul will last. *touchwood* but I really want them to live forever. It is rather obvious that all these are impossible in the Kingdom of the Lord, but I really wish it could last. 

This is seen on Facebook, and I was in a deep thought and dilemma. 

Where life is after all a playground. 

Are we people really going back to His arm? Will we be seeing each other again one day later in a far away future? 

I have no sense of these, no more.

I am tired of people living and suffering from sickness and pain. It is nothing more but a torture. All these are tormenting me. Dear you, your death triggered all these. Are all these fated to be such? That for the rest of my life I will have to bear the pain to have lost you forever, to love you most the rest of my life. 

I have once thought, that how am I going to let you go, how our relationship going to end with this stubborn me to want loving you such. Who knows the Almighty would choose this way to end all these for us. If I would know, I would have promised to have grown more maturely to have myself with you throughout the last few years of your life. 

I do not wish to let you go. I never want to let you go. I really do miss you. I ain't strong like how people used to describe me. 

You are. You are the one boy who has the only detriment, that is to step on my heart. Every time. And you make me cry. Every time.