I didn't know that I could still have a person who I can utter my feelings out to, never even wonder if it was right to just tell my things out to a person who I knew just for few days, or rather met up just for once or twice. I am a kind who trust my own instinct and when I find it right to tell, I do not mind sharing, as long as the person is willing to be my reading eyes. I could not be independent when it comes to feeling the very loneliness and sorrows, I always wish having listening ears.
Perhaps things has gone too smoothly or rather way calm and steady, to the extent that I am worried for nothing. Life is being too peaceful recently, living in own world listening to musics, mingling around with new circle of friends and behaving shy, repeating and answering questions regarding the daily three meals, reading up cases for the exam next years, reminiscing stuffs happened and injecting myself with positive thinkings etc. How should I classify my current state of life?
Falling out of love, and I at times wonder about my future, based on my very creative imagination to project my very Mr. Right. Having the physical advantage of Sunny Wang, economy stability where I can spend all I want, being a tai tai in my comfy home, loving me wholeheartedly despite his good looking where he could attract bees from the outside world, never fail to the givings of care and concern and will never leave me despite my health conditions. It is alright because I know the fact that I will never get who I want, neither do I really expecting a perfect man in my future life, they are mere imaginations to calm my soul. As long as the feeling is right, as long as you are matured enough to catch my attention, nothing else matters. (:
I need a life partner, no more a boyfriend.
Talking about my next relationships, I admit I am still not prepared to step out any, regardless if I have my eye candy, if I already have a person in my mind, but I am hell afraid that every of the sudden heart attack would drag me down to the hell like previously did. I dare not. I hope, but I dare not. Deeply in myself, I am afraid of hurting others when I am always lagging in my relationships, as well afraid of hurting myself. I do not know how many more heartbreaks could I afford if the new relationship still turns out to be a fail one. Please, don't.
Understand my temper and come to me only when you're ready. Once you have stepped in, please do not leave. By you stepping inside, I will do my very best to ensure that this is entirely another new world, neither a space nor a room. When I am ready to, please walk my life with me. Prove to the world with me, that despite the very tormenting moments we have had with our past, they are all over, and we are going to live better than any of them.
Alright, my mere thoughts.
#justsaying
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