For a trip, to go home.

I'm finally home. Finally and really finally, I got to cry my lungs out. I attended church service after so long. I knew I could feel my own pain for real but at the same time I understand that I must be standing on my feet, be tough than anyone else. I have the rights to feel upset, but I can never have the rights to cry. I'm sorry darling, that I just did what you dislike the most. Heart is pain, and hands are shivering. You shouldn't be leaving. I do not know how should I accept the very fact especially I have not seen u for the past one year. Tell me how should I feel and how should I bahave. 

In my prayers there's only you and daddy and mummy and jiejie. I wish you and daddy have each other accompanied in ur journey to be at Papa in Heaven's side, and mummy and jiejie could really put the two of you down, and lead the life much better each and every day. I'm so sure that The Almighty Papa in Heaven is listening, I could feel Him with me in my prayer, I know and I'm sure, that He loves every of us. He might have arranged obstacles for us, but He will still lead us to a better way in life. 

Perhaps.. I should put it this way.. 

We human are created by Him. 

We were staying at a far away place.

We came to this world as our journey our trip. 

We came to learn.

We came to shape ourselves for a better spiritual life.

We come and we go..

Human life is just part of our trip. When we are done traveling, yes we need to go home. Or some are here to learn to study, to come for school and to attend lessons. When we are done with our trip, we have to go home, going back to His arms. When we are done schooling, yes He will come to fetch us home. In the end, His intention is nothing more than making us His good children. 

I do not know if I will feel better after having thought things this way. During my prayer just now, I feel God. I feel Him comforting me and that's the reason He made these coming to my mind. Perhaps He's right. He's the Almighty. He has his purpose in deciding our destiny..

I was crying throughout the prayer and that was awful. I have not cried this hard for so long. Life is miserable, but you learnt life haven't you darling. We are still learning. That's why we are still here..

Time forgets..perhaps..