The 28th day

It's been a month. Hi how are you..up there? Doing fine? I know you will be. This week is rather peace for me regardless my mood my mind my emotion. I have been controlling really well. Time heals although not perfectly. Whenever I miss you too much, I Dayre, and hence made up the reason why don't I blog so often over here. Maybe some platform is way better to utter my feelings. Escapism is needed and thus, I am everywhere blogging, as long as I find myself comfy, as long as I don't cry, as long as I don't feel too much pain.

Some friends asked about you. I told them, but the heart is really aching. I masked myself up and that doesn't really seem to work well. I feel so much suffocated when it comes to thinking of you. I miss you even more, ever since the day we broke off, more and even more, day by day.. I really don't know how long this will last. You never seem to disappear from my mind, since the break up, even since the day we first met.. How could you be so influential? I really don't know.

I said this, but I think I'm saying it again..

There are people who discussed about us, like literally asking me wtf am I doing to still linger around the past and not moving on still, even after a year plus, and I don't even look like I will do few years later.

Perhaps I can only answer you doubt this way..
ONLY IF I know the reason why.. You think I don't wish to get rid of these? I simply can't.

It's been a year going two. I don't know how to make some people understand this, maybe they just won't. Sometimes, it's because they never tried to love someone this much before. I don't blame, but don't provoke my rights to these.

Tormenting moments and I've bold myself to try serving myself a better life. Although I am suffering, I promise myself that everyday, I will mask myself up facing the world. No more Facebook saddist posts, neither detailed blogposts, nor frequent instagram posts, lesser tweets, sometimes Dayre.

I.. have came to a point where I realised that I don't actually have to please everyone. I will really go mad if I don't have any platform to free myself. I just do not wish to trigger sadness when seeing all him-related posts, and that's why I have been quite reluctant to share my blogpost but at the same time I really do not wish to privatise my blog, due to some very reason, forgive me, but just..

I don't know
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I REALLY DON'T KNOW.

I'm not feeling less pain than anyone he cared. At some point it's really equally or worse. How should I cure the heart break. I've been a heart breaker, breaking others' and being broke by others. Tell me about it..

I have been eating a lot recently. Congrats, for I've gained weight.

xoxo.